


Holding on

by Signe_chan



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-05
Updated: 2014-10-05
Packaged: 2018-02-20 01:24:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2409920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Signe_chan/pseuds/Signe_chan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>High School AU - Phil receives an unexpected visit in the night.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Holding on

Phil studied the homework question, tapping his pen against his lower lip. He'd done something wrong but he wasn't sure what. He'd carried the two alright so it wasn't that. He just...

There was a noise at the window. He froze, eyes flying up from the paper. His heart started to beat and his hands tensed. A second and, yes, there it was again, a scratching. Someone, something outside the window. It had been a long time since anyone had come to his window. That could only mean zombies!

The zombie invasion was here and Phil Coulson, aged 17, was as ready as he'd ever be. He moved quickly, grabbing the bat he kept by his desk as part of his zombie disaster plan and swung round to press himself against the wall next to the window. Then he crept closer. Step one was to get confirmed visual.

Fingers on the window again, gripping this time around the window frame. Stubby pink fingers that didn't look undead at all with chipped back nail varnish. There was only one person who could be knocking at his window like that.

Phil dropped the bat and almost leapt forward, nearly dislodging Clint in his haste to pull the window up. Clint looked sickeningly glad to see him, balanced on the roof of the garage trying to swing over. It had been easier last summer when they'd done this regularly. Then, Phil had taken to leaving the long ladder outside even though his dad told him off every time he noticed it.

But it had been nearly a year since Clint had come knocking. There was no ladder, Phil had to lean out of the window himself and grip his arms and pull and then it was a desperate scramble that somehow resulted in them both sprawled on their backs on Phil's bedroom floor, panting for breath.

Phil recovered first and he moved quickly to shut the window and draw the curtains before anyone noticed. He didn't know what Clint was doing here but he sure as hell knew the other boy shouldn't be here.

"I'm sorry," was Clint's opening line when he finally got his breath back. "Trying to climb in here was a shitty plan."

"Yeah, I'd recommend the door," Phil said, slouching against the wall under the window so he was on eye-level with Clint. Clint who looked taller and scrawnier than the last time Phil had seen him. Who now had an extra piercing in his ear (which Phil had known about) and an extra scar on his forehead (which Phil hadn't known about). But still Clint. Still the same punk kid his parents hadn't wanted him associated with, sat there hunched over with his ratty leather jacket and painted nails and messy hair and it was all Phil could do not to pull him into a hug.

"Not really an option, sorry," Clint said, studying his nails. "I'm not really meant to be here."

"You ran away," Phil concluded. Clint waited a second and then nodded. Yeah, it hadn't been a big leap to make. He'd bee talking about how much he hated his foster home for months, of course he'd take the first chance to run away.

"I couldn't stick it there any more," Clint said with a tight little shrug. "It wasn't like here." Here being Phil's neighbors house. Clint had only been there for three months before the Johnsons decided they needed a foster child with less baggage. Phil thought the Johnsons were fucking idiots. "I know I can't stay but I wanted to see you before I went."

"Hey, you can stay," Phil said, reaching out to nudge Clint's shoulder in a way he hoped was more friendly then 'I have a secret massive crush on you and there's never a good time to say'. He'd never been very smooth around Clint though so it was a wonder he didn't just miss. "I'll talk to my parents."

"And your parents'll phone the services and then they'll come for me and I'll be back in that shit hole. No way. I'm going to take of and join the circus again."

"That's not really a long term solution..." Phil said. Clint didn't talk much about the circus but it didn't sound like a safe kind of place. He didn't want to think of Clint being somewhere he wasn't safe. "Hey, maybe my parents can foster you."

"Your parents hate me," Clint said, still staring at his knuckles.

"I don't see why that'd stop them," Phil said with a shrug. It wasn't like he got to call or text with Clint every day but they did talk enough that Phil had noticed a trend in the people who came into Clint's life. None of them cared about Clint. But he did, and if his parents didn't appreciate how awesome Clint was at least he would.

"Whatever," Clint grumbled. "Can I stay here for the night? I'll go in the morning."

"You can stay here as long as you want," Phil said, scooting forward. "So, come on, what made you finally leave?"

"The usual," Clint grumbled, grabbing the toe of is boot. Like that he was curled up into a little ball and Phil just wanted to wrap himself around the other boy but he was aware that wasn't an appropriate thing to want. "The guy, called Dan, he's an ass. One of the littler kids made a mess and Dan went crazy about it. I let him think it was me and it wouldn't be such a big deal but I can't take it any more."

"He hit you?" Phil asked, eyes scanning Clint. He didn't see any damage but that didn't mean anything.

"Yeah," Clint admitted. "But, before you say anything, there's no point telling anyone. He'll just say I fell. My case workers all know I'm a lying trouble maker anyway."

"They're wrong about you," Phil said, shifting closer again. "So wrong."

"Shut up," Clint grumbled, curling closer in on himself. "If I was any good to anyone I'd be able to stay in a house. Even when I'm trying to be good they don't want me. I really tried at the Johnsons, Phil. I really did and look what it got me. Shipped of again. I'm just worthless."

Phil didn't even really think. Everything Clint said felt like someone jabbing a tender bruise and if it felt like that for him then he didn't want to think how it would feel for Clint. He wanted so badly to take the hurt away and he knew he couldn't so instead he did the next best thing. He sat forward and pulled Clint into his arms.

He hadn't hugged Clint before, not that he hadn't wanted to but it had never seemed like it'd be welcomed. It wasn't welcomed now, exactly. Clint didn't return the hug or even relax into it but now Phil had started he was committed. He was going to give Clint a nice long hug unless Clint told him he didn't want it. 

"I want you," Phil said. "You're not worthless becasue I want you. I want to talk to you. I want you to live here so I can see you every day."

"I'm a mess."

"You're wonderful," Phil insisted, tightening his arms. "You're so talented and clever and you think that it's not true becasue it's not the kind of clever that they value in school but that's stupid. School smart is only books, only facts. You're way of thinking, Clint, your problem solving. That's amazing. And you're loyal and you're kind and you protect others. You're, like, the opposite of worthless."

Clint made a strange, broken sound and for a second Phil thought he was going to be pushed away but instead Clint unwound from his ball and latched on to Phil instead, burying his face in the junction between Phil's neck and shoulders just as a horrible sob tore out of him.

Phil held on as tight as he could while Clint fell apart in his arms. He started rocking, after a little while. Moving them both gently back and forwards and then be used the momentum to maneuver them to Clint was closer, almost sitting in his lap and curled up in him and Phil wished he could freeze the world right here. Keep them both this closer forever and stop stupid, trivial things like real life from pulling them apart.

This was all he wanted.

Gradually, Clint's sobs slowed then stopped. Gradually, Clint tried to pull away but every time he did it was slowly and reluctantly so Phil held on tight and every time he did Clint just settled right back into Phil's arms like he belonged there.

Phil would very much like to believe he did. If only the rest of the world could see that.

"Hey," he said, eventually. "Come on, let's get you cleaned up. We'll sleep and in the morning we'll talk to my parents and sort something out. They'll come round, I know they will."

"Sure," Clint said, pulling back a little. He seemed less that convinced. "Sure, we can try. I mean, if they put me back in that home I'll just run away again."

"They won't put you back in that home," Phil promised. If they did that'd have to do it over his dead body. "I'm going to take care of this."

Clint nodded, biting his lip like he was thinking. Then, unexpectedly, he lent forward and kissed Phil. The kiss was brief and dry and Clint was drawing back before Phil even really had a chance to appreciate it and that wasn't right.

"Sorry," Clint said, looking down again. "I just...YOLO or whatever. I wanted to do it at least once and they're probably going to ship me across the country to a group home or something for this stunt."

Phil didn't say anything, he couldn't. Instead he just lent in and they were already so close that it was easy to steal another kiss. A proper one this time, long and deep and fulfilling and he could taste Clint's tears and he didn't even care becasue he was going to make this work. He didn't care how, nobody was going to take Clint away from him now. Clint was his and he was going to protect them both, somehow.

There was no way he could go back to not having this now.


End file.
